Alan Annand is an astrologer and writer of crime fiction, including his New Age Noir series featuring astrologer and palmist Axel Crowe, a criminal profiler whom one reviewer dubbed “Sherlock Holmes with a horoscope.”
Read reviews for Scorpio Rising (#1), buy it or Felonious Monk (#2) at:
Amazon, Apple, Barnes&Noble, Flipkart, Kobo & Smashwords
Alan Annand is an astrologer and writer of crime fiction, including his New Age Noir series featuring astrologer and palmist Axel Crowe, a criminal profiler whom one reviewer dubbed “Sherlock Holmes with a horoscope.”
Read reviews for Scorpio Rising (#1), buy it or Felonious Monk (#2) at:
Amazon, Apple, Barnes&Noble, Flipkart, Kobo & Smashwords
This review first appeared in HOROSCOPE GUIDE, August 2014, and is reprinted here with the permission of editor and reviewer Ken Irving:
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A little over two years ago I reviewed a mystery novel called Scorpio Rising, by Alan Annand. This title was actually the first in what he calls his “New Age Noir” series, and now the second installment, Felonious Monk, arrives just in time for a review in this issue of Horoscope Guide.
The hero of the series is a Canadian named Axel Crowe, a private investigator licensed in all 50 states of the USA (and presumably all provinces in Canada). Although like any detective he knows the ways and wiles of criminals, he has one thing extra going for him: he’s what might be called a trained intuitive.
By this I mean that, although his primary tools are much the same as those of any good private investigator, possibly the most important item in his toolkit is astrology. He uses both natal and horary astrology, added to which is an intuitive awareness of a symbolic ebb and flow in the environment around him. The astrology he uses is “Vedic,” the astrology of India, and the two astrological techniques just mentioned are integrated into that ebb and flow, with astrology and its symbols interacting with various elements of the spaces in which Crowe finds himself over the course of his investigations.
Here’s an example of how this works – at a point when Crowe is in the apartment of the main victim, Seth Greer, whose murder he’s investigating. One notable thing about Greer’s murder is that within a day or two after he was killed, someone has systematically gone through the offices of The Village Voice (where Greer worked as a freelance journalist), his apartment, and anyplace else where he might have used a computer or saved a file. By the time these mysterious intruders are finished, they’ve destroyed or stolen hard drives, paper copies of Greer’s work and notes, and anything else that might have a word or two on it.
A cursory inspection of documents remaining on the premises (file folders scattered across the floor) reveals little of obvious interest, but Crowe sits down and begins to organize a search based on his astrological thinking:
He sat for a moment at Greer’s desk and surveyed the mess. What was he looking for? A clue to what got Greer killed.
With too many file folders to look through, he decided to narrow his choices using ruling planets – the day lord, the ruler of the Moon sign, and the Ascendant lord. Monday was ruled by the Moon, whose color was white. That was no help. There were too many off-white folders.
The Moon was in Taurus, ruled by Venus whose color was blue. So blue folders might be relevant…
The blue folders do not yield much of interest either, so Crowe opens up his smart-phone astrology app and takes a look:
…Documents were signified by the third house, Libra. Its lord Venus was in Taurus with the Moon in the 10th house.
Since that was a fixed sign, the files had to be nearby. But Saturn, which sometimes obscured things from sight, occupied the third house. Perhaps near a doorway, which the third house also ruled…
He looked in the hallway closet adjacent to the entrance. Several jackets and coats hung on a rod. Near the back of the closet was a long black winter coat.
Saturn in the 3rd house: something stiff in the arms. He felt inside the coat and withdrew three blue file folders that had been rolled together and hidden inside the coat sleeve. Each file was almost half an inch thick. He immediately got the sense this was what he’d been looking for….
And indeed it was. By outlining an example of Crowe’s astrological thinking, I want to emphasize that I’m doing this only because I’m writing for an astrological audience that might find this interesting. But I don’t want to give the impression that the novel is like this, page after page.
Astrology or not, this is a murder mystery through and through, and you don’t have to know anything about astrology to read it. Crowe shuttles back and forth from locations that range from New York to Vermont to Thailand, among many other locales, all in pursuit of a motive for the killing of Greer, a muckraking reporter who was thrown off a cliff to his death during a peaceful week-long retreat at an ashram run by a friend of Crowe’s. The local police quickly decide that Crowe’s friend is the culprit, and throw him in jail, so Crowe is off on the trail of the real killer.
Greer’s murder is not the whole of it, however, and by the time we’re a few chapters into the story, Crowe is actually investigating Greer’s murder while simultaneously consulting with the NYPD on several unsolved serial killings. In order to get needed information for the Greer case from the police, he works a trade by consulting on the unsolved killings, and at times the two cases seem destined to intertwine, while at other times they seem to have nothing to do with each other. Crowe sticks with it, however, until every last murderer is dead or in jail, and every last murder is solved. I guarantee that if you pick this up you won’t be able to set it aside.
With Felonious Monk, Alan Annand has written a worthy successor to Scorpio Rising, and by the time you finish this fast-paced, wide-ranging tale you’ll be anxiously waiting for the next book in his New Age Noir series.
~ Ken Irving
Ken Irving, editor of Horoscope Guide, is an astrologer specializing in locality mapping, Astro*Carto*Graphy, and related subjects. See his website for more information.
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Alan Annand is a Canadian astrologer and palmist with an education spanning both eastern and western astrology. He has diplomas from the American College of Vedic Astrology, as well as the British Faculty of Astrological Studies for whom he was their North American correspondence tutor for several years.
He is also a writer of crime fiction, including his NEW AGE NOIR series (Scorpio Rising, Felonious Monk, Soma County) featuring astrologer and palmist Axel Crowe, whom one reviewer has dubbed “Sherlock Holmes with a horoscope.”
Read the highlighted reviews of Scorpio Rising on Pinterest.
Buy Annand’s New Age Noir series and other crime fiction on Amazon, Apple, Barnes&Noble, Flipkart, Kobo and Smashwords.
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Alan Annand is an astrologer and writer of crime fiction, including his New Age Noir series featuring astrologer and palmist Axel Crowe, a criminal profiler whom one reviewer dubbed “Sherlock Holmes with a horoscope.”
Read reviews for Scorpio Rising (#1), buy it or Felonious Monk (#2) at:
Amazon, Apple, Barnes&Noble, Flipkart, Kobo & Smashwords
Alan Annand is an astrologer and writer of crime fiction, including his New Age Noir series featuring astrologer and palmist Axel Crowe, a criminal profiler whom one reviewer dubbed “Sherlock Holmes with a horoscope.”
Read reviews for Scorpio Rising (#1), buy it or Felonious Monk (#2) at:
Amazon, Apple, Barnes&Noble, Flipkart, Kobo & Smashwords
Ever since last Friday the 13th when I posted the Mercury Retrograde Body Mitten, I’ve been gratified and horrified by the high degree of interest shown in this cocoon-like garment. Are we that scared of the world? Clearly, I touched a nerve. Do we all need shrinks? Or just a body mitten?
First, thanks to Tem Tarriktar, publisher of The Mountain Astrologer magazine, who offered to re-post on TMA’s Facebook page. Given the impetus provided by TMA’s 38k fans, within a few days my post received 100k views.
The following Thursday, author Elizabeth Gilbert (Eat, Pray, Love) posted it on her Facebook page. By the following weekend, the post had enjoyed about 180k views. This confirmed for me that Mercurophobia extends well beyond the astrological community. Zealous psychotherapists, take note.
Now, since most writers hate writing and will use any distraction to avoid facing their demons, I’ve wasted hours reading comments from my website and various Facebook pages. Here, a few comments of my own:
To the Virgo spinster who applied for a job knitting the body mitten, even though she said it looked like an uncircumcised penis, I must say no. You’re obviously not as celibate as you pretend, therefore not qualified to knit the inviolate matrix of squirrel wool and unicorn hair that repels retrograde Mercury’s bad vibes.
To the new mother, a Cancer, who read that post and laughed so hard she peed, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean for that to happen. Newer versions of the body mitten will incorporate an absorbent bottom liner similar to what you’d find in a bird cage.
To the Aquarian who wondered if we’ll be marketing international designs, they’re in the works. For example, the Burqa-Mitten will soon be on shelves everywhere in the Muslim world, insh’allah.
To the Leo who complained it’s too hot to wear the body mitten during Retrograde Mercury periods in equatorial climes, our designers are now fashioning a model made of breathable hemp. If you don’t like it, you can smoke it, and then who cares about Mercury Retrograde?
To the Capricorn who worried that our body mittens have no fire or emergency exit, our designers are now working on a quick-release lanyard made of high-tensile monkey hair. One quick tug, your mitten will unravel, and you’ll be free to run and hide elsewhere.
To the Aries gal who complained that the body mitten won’t help get her laid during Mercury Retrograde, I say, why is it always about you? The head portal of the mitten is already perfectly positioned for giving, um, pleasure to someone else.
(The ME-Rsex shown here features spreadable legs and a deep throat chakra. The model inside is holding a TV remote but we all know what that represents.)
To the many Taurus folks concerned about animal rights, no squirrels or unicorns were harmed during the harvesting of their wool and hair. Our mitten farms are inspected regularly by officers of the SPCA (Society for the Protection of Cottage-industry Animals).
To the lovely Libran who worried that her hair and makeup would be disturbed inside the body mitten, please rest assured, sweetheart, everyone looks absolutely fabulous inside our mittens!
To the Pisces lady who asked whether our unicorns are pure-blooded, dimidian or quartarian, because she only wanted the pure one, I guarantee they’re 100% imaginary, and completely unadulterated by reality.
To the Sagittarian who enquired about a body mitten for camping, our designers have been working on one called the Clarissa that replaces squirrel wool with wolf fur. Unfortunately, during field trials, the women campers have all run away with wolves, taking their body mittens with them.
To the Gemini who suggested the body mitten could be marketed for coach airplane travel, we’re already in discussion with Virgin Airlines. Sir Richard, author of the book Screw it, Let’s Do it, has agreed to donate his share of profits to a foundation for the preservation of unicorns.
Lastly, to the many consumers who’ve written to warn us that cheap knockoffs are now appearing on the streets of London, New York and Los Angeles, I must advise, beware of fakes made by nympho Scorpios using cat fur and skank hair. Check the manufacturer’s label, which should read:
© SEXTILE: It’s all in bad taste, but it’s what we do best.
PS: If anyone knows any celibate Virgos who can knit, please contact me, because our production line is now 5000 units behind order. I know you’re out there. Agents are standing by, and your desperate calls will be discreetly handled.
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Seriously, folks (although I know it’s hard to take me seriously), these garments do exist in the real world. AnOtherMag has described them as having “the dual benefit of keeping you cozy while looking crazy enough to keep anyone from disturbing you.” Available from Andrea Crews eShop Agency of Paris with world-wide outlets, where they’re known as the BodySuit, or full-body sweater.
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Alan Annand is an astrologer and writer of crime fiction, including his New Age Noir series featuring astrologer and palmist Axel Crowe, a criminal profiler with a horoscope.
Amazon, Apple, Barnes&Noble, Kobo, Smashwords
Alan Annand is an astrologer and writer of crime fiction, including his New Age Noir series featuring astrologer and palmist Axel Crowe, a criminal profiler with a horoscope.
Read reviews for Scorpio Rising (#1), buy it or Felonious Monk (#2) at:
Amazon, Apple, Barnes&Noble, Flipkart, Kobo & Smashwords
pinterest.com/pin/39406565464906338/
As an author I try to be mindful of clichés and avoid them like the plague. Clichés include phrases like: think outside the horoscope, kill two Geminis with one stone, take the Taurus by the horns, etc. We’ve seen these word-groups so many times they’ve become stock communications devices, comfortable crutches we can lean on when we’re too lazy to walk.
The challenge that every serious writer takes up, however, is to express something in words that no one’s yet composed in this particular combination. The very word novelist implies a responsibility to say something new, or at least say an old thing in a novel way.
As an astrologer, I’m dismayed at how often our profession advises deferring life in the face of Mercury retrograde. Three times a year this old bogeyman in a wheelchair gets rolled out for everyone to contemplate with a collective sense of dread, lethargy and resignation.
pinterest.com/pin/39406565464906363/
Sadly, repeated warnings of Mercury retrograde from the astrological community have become a kind of boy-who-cried-wolf running gag that now turns up on mainstream media. Sorry, but we do our profession no service by continuing to spout this questionable folk wisdom. We might as well shout: Beware Friday the 13th! Don’t walk under that ladder in front of that black cat! Don’t step on that crack, you’ll break your mother’s back!
Mercury retrograde has become the modern astrologer’s cliché. So deeply entrenched is this in our culture that some national astrological associations routinely offer for sale wallet-sized cards indicating Mercury retrograde periods. God forbid we should forget to discourage a client with the dubious prediction that these murky periods – three times a year, for three weeks at a pop – lurk like ponds of quicksand to swallow their emails, their travel plans or their job interviews.
Meanwhile, serious analysis of this phenomenon reveals no bias whatsoever for mishap or disaster during Mercury retrograde periods – neither natural disasters, aviation crashes, maritime sinkings, train wrecks nor acts of terrorism. If there really was a discernible southbound drift of stock prices during Mercury retrograde, don’t you think we’d all be counting our money on the terrace of our Caribbean hideaway instead of selling umbrellas to clients for the next planetary shit-storm?
Mercury retrograde: it’s a problem all right, but one that we’ve created in our own minds. We lend it more credence than it deserves, and it’s time we stop passing this fallacy on to our clients.
But if you think this is unduly harsh, just remember, Every cloud has a Mercury lining.
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Alan Annand is an astrologer and writer of crime fiction, including his New Age Noir series featuring astrologer and palmist Axel Crowe, a criminal profiler whom one reviewer called “Sherlock Holmes with a horoscope.”
Find his books at Amazon, Apple, Barnes&Noble, Kobo, Smashwords
Astrologer: http://www.navamsa.com. Writer: http://www.sextile.com.
Alan Annand is an astrologer and writer of crime fiction, including his New Age Noir series featuring astrologer and palmist Axel Crowe, a criminal profiler with a horoscope.
Read reviews for Scorpio Rising (#1), buy it or Felonious Monk (#2) at:
Amazon, Apple, Barnes&Noble, Flipkart, Kobo & Smashwords
Feeling wobbly, forgetful, and introverted during this Mercury retrograde cycle? This can be a great time for renewal and self-reflection. The Mercury Retrograde Body Mitten (TM) is designed specifically to contain and counteract the powerful negative mental and energetic effects of Mercury retrograde.
Each body mitten is hand-knitted by celibate Virgos using hypo-allergenic squirrel wool inter-woven with strands of unicorn hair that were marinated in lavender oil infused with emerald powder. This energetic matrix provides a comfortable and fashionable garment to create an aware and stable personal environment before, during, and after Mercury retrograde.
Production of our body mittens follows a strict process of spiritual guidance, prayer, and attunement to the planet. After knitting, garments are dyed a limited range of peaceful colors (aquamarine, blue, green, mauve, teal) in a solution of Clematis, Narcissus, and White Chestnut flower essences to help ground thoughts and calm an over-stimulated mind.
The communication port located equidistant between the crown and throat chakras helps to release ideas and thoughts through communication, while the grounding port located below the base chakra allows optional access to reality, and discreet bodily functions, as required.
Mercury Retrograde Body Mittens come in several sizes. If you have a moderate-sized neurosis, just slip into our Mer-X size model, and you’ll immediately feel comforted by the warm sense of enclosure and protection the body mitten provides.
For New Age devotees crippled by more complex anxieties, say, involving both Mercurophobia and claustrophobia, you might want to consider our Mer-XL model which gives you greater freedom to thrash around inside your own little insular world.
And for co-dependent reality-denial couples, nothing says “I honor the neurotic me I see reflected in you” better than our Mer-2XL model, which features an inner partition liner (not shown) for couples who want to enjoy togetherness without actual physical contact.
Note: the Mercury Retrograde Body Mitten is not suitable for children, animals or the elderly with mobility problems. It is, however, eminently suitable for breastfeeding mothers in arch-conservative environments.
The Mercury Retrograde Body Mitten: when the world gets too scary for three weeks at a time, you’re safe in your own little world.
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PS… For a post-script on the Mercury Retrograde Body Mitten phenomenon that has tickled the fancy of so many readers around the world, please see my subsequent post, Smitten by the Mitten.
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PPS… This was tongue-in-cheek, but such garments do exist, although I have absolutely no commercial interest in their retail. I imagine you can acquire one for yourself or a Mercury-phobic loved one by following my own chain of discovery, via Pinterest, AnOther magazine and Angela Crews E-shop Agency.
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Alan Annand is an astrologer and writer of crime fiction, including his New Age Noir series featuring astrologer and palmist Axel Crowe, a criminal profiler with a horoscope.
Amazon, Apple, Barnes&Noble, Kobo, Smashwords
Sextile 