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Ronald Reagan (b. February 6th): “The Ten Commandments and Congress…”

6 Feb


“I have wondered at times what the Ten Commandments would have looked like if Moses had run them through the US Congress.”

~ Ronald Reagan, b. 6 February 1911


Julia Louis-Dreyfus (b. January 13): “If I wrote a book, it would be about hair.”

13 Jan


“I guess if I wrote a book one day, it would be about hair.”

~ Julia Louis-Dreyfus, b. 13 January 1961


Billy Connolly (b. November 24): “I think my securities far outweigh my insecurities….”

24 Nov


“I think my securities far outweigh my insecurities. I am not nearly as afraid of  myself and my imagination as I used to be.”

~ Billy Connolly, b. 24 November 1942


Rodney Dangerfield (b. November 22): “My mother never breast fed me…”

22 Nov


“My mother never breast fed me, she told me she only liked me as a friend.”

~ Rodney Dangerfield, b. 22 November 1921


Jimmy Kimmel (b. November 13): “I don’t really need to be dirty…”

13 Nov

“I’m a creative consultant, whatever that means. I don’t really need to be dirty to be funny. But almost every week, someone’s mad at me.”

~ Jimmy Kimmel, b. 13 November 1967


John Cleese (b. October 27): “Comedy works best when it is mean-spirited.”

27 Oct


“Comedy always works best when it is mean-spirited.”

~ John Cleese, b. 27 October 1939


Lenny Bruce (b. October 13): “If you can take the hot lead enema…”

13 Oct


“If you can take the hot lead enema, then you can cast the first stone.”

~ Lenny Bruce, b. 13 October 1925


Nelson DeMille (b. August 23): “The problem with doing nothing…”

23 Aug


“The problem with doing nothing is not knowing when you’re finished.”

~ Nelson DeMille, b. 23 August 1943

Larry David (July 2): “I had a wonderful childhood…”

2 Jul


“I had a wonderful childhood, which is tough because it’s hard to adjust to a miserable adulthood.”

~ Larry David, b. 2 July 1947

Princess Diana (b. July 1): “They say it’s better to be poor and happy…”

1 Jul


“They say it is better to be poor and happy than rich and miserable, but how about a compromise like moderately rich and just moody?”

~ Princess Diana, b. 1 July 1961

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