Blues Tutorial #7:
Blues can take place in New York but not in Hawaii or any place in Canada. Havin’ hard times in St. Paul or Tucson is just depression. Chicago, St.Louis & Kansas City still the best places to have the blues. You can’t have the blues in any place that don’t get rain.
http://pinterest.com/pin/39406565462090290/
Blues Tutorial #6:
Teenagers can’t sing the blues. They ain’t fixin’ to die yet. Adults sing the blues. In blues, “adulthood” means being old enough to get the electric chair if you shoot a man in Memphis.
http://pinterest.com/pin/39406565462060318/
Blues Tutorial #5:
Blues cars are Chevys, Cadillacs & broken-down trucks. Blues don’t travel in Volvos, BMWs, or SUVs. Most blues take a Greyhound bus or a southbound train. Jet aircraft & state-sponsored motor pools ain’t even in the running. Walkin’ plays a major part in the blues lifestyle. So does fixin’ to die.
http://pinterest.com/pin/39406565462049287/
Blues Tutorial #20.
I don’t care how tragic your life – if you own a computer, you cannot sing the blues. You best destroy it. Fire, a spilled bottle of Mad Dog, or get out a shotgun. Maybe your big woman just done sat on it. I don’t care.
http://pinterest.com/pin/39406565462572003/
Blues Tutorial #19.
Make your own blues name (starter kit):
(a) name of physical infirmity (Blind, Cripple, Lame, etc)
(b) first name (above) plus name of fruit (Lemon, Lime, Kiwi, etc)
(c) last name of President (Jefferson, Johnson, Fillmore, etc)
Resulting in… Blind Lemon Jefferson, Cripple Kiwi Fillmore, Horny Banana Clinton, etc.
http://pinterest.com/pin/39406565462507603/
Blues Tutorial #17:
Some acceptable blues names for men: (a) Joe, (b) Willie, (c) Little Willie, (d) Big Willie.
http://pinterest.com/pin/39406565462436282/
Blues Tutorial #16:
Some acceptable blues names for women: (a) Sadie, (b) Big Mama, (c) Bessie, (d) Fat River Dumpling.
http://pinterest.com/pin/39406565462414082/
Blues Tutorial #15:
If it occurs in a cheap motel or a shotgun shack, it’s a blues death. Stabbed in the back by a jealous lover is another blues way to die. So is the electric chair, substance abuse, and dying lonely on a broken down cot. You can’t have a blues death if you die during a tennis match or while getting liposuction.
http://pinterest.com/pin/39406565462388233/
Blues Tutorial #14:
If you ask for water and Baby give you gasoline, it’s the blues. Other acceptable blues beverages are: (a) wine, (b) whiskey or bourbon, (c) muddy water, (d) black coffee.
The following are NOT blues beverages: (a) mixed drinks, (b) kosher wine, (c) Snapple, (d) sparkling water.
http://pinterest.com/pin/39406565462264849/
Blues Tutorial #13:
Blues is not a matter of color. It’s a matter of bad luck. Tiger Woods cannot sing the blues. Gary Coleman could. Ugly white people also got a leg up on the blues.
http://pinterest.com/pin/39406565462226736/
Sextile 