Blues Tutorial #16:
Some acceptable blues names for women: (a) Sadie, (b) Big Mama, (c) Bessie, (d) Fat River Dumpling.
http://pinterest.com/pin/39406565462414082/
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Blues Tutorial #15: If it occurs in a cheap motel, it’s a blues death.
9 May
Blues Tutorial #15:
If it occurs in a cheap motel or a shotgun shack, it’s a blues death. Stabbed in the back by a jealous lover is another blues way to die. So is the electric chair, substance abuse, and dying lonely on a broken down cot. You can’t have a blues death if you die during a tennis match or while getting liposuction.
http://pinterest.com/pin/39406565462388233/
Blues Tutorial #14: Muddy water is a blues beverage.
8 May
Blues Tutorial #14:
If you ask for water and Baby give you gasoline, it’s the blues. Other acceptable blues beverages are: (a) wine, (b) whiskey or bourbon, (c) muddy water, (d) black coffee.
The following are NOT blues beverages: (a) mixed drinks, (b) kosher wine, (c) Snapple, (d) sparkling water.
http://pinterest.com/pin/39406565462264849/
Blues Tutorial #13: Blues is not a matter of color.
7 May
Blues Tutorial #13:
Blues is not a matter of color. It’s a matter of bad luck. Tiger Woods cannot sing the blues. Gary Coleman could. Ugly white people also got a leg up on the blues.
http://pinterest.com/pin/39406565462226736/
Blues Tutorial #12: You have a right to sing the blues if you just can’t be satisfied.
6 May
Blues Tutorial #12:
You have the right to sing the blues if: (a) you’re older than dirt, (b) you’re blind, (c) you shot a man in Memphis, (d) you can’t be satisfied.
But you ain’t got the right to sing the blues if: (a) you have all your teeth, (b) you were once blind but now can see, (c) the man in Memphis lived, (d) you have a retirement plan or trust fund.
http://pinterest.com/pin/39406565462205111/
Blues Tutorial #11: No one will believe it’s the blues if you wear a suit.
5 May
Blues Tutorial #11:
No one will believe it’s the blues if you wear a suit, unless you happen to be an old ethnic person, and you slept in it.
http://pinterest.com/pin/39406565462191439/
Blues Tutorial #10: Good places for the blues – highway, jailhouse, empty bed, and bottom of a whiskey glass.
2 May
Blues Tutorial #10:
Good places for the blues: (a) highway, (b) jailhouse, (c) empty bed, (d) bottom of a whiskey glass. Bad places: (a) ashrams, (b) gallery openings, (c) Ivy League institutions, (d) golf courses.
http://pinterest.com/pin/39406565462175469/
Blues Tutorial #8: A man with male pattern baldness ain’t the blues.
29 Apr
Blues Tutorial #8:
A man with male pattern baldness ain’t the blues. A woman with male pattern baldness is. Breaking your leg cuz you skiing is not the blues. Breaking your leg ‘cuz an alligator be chomping on it is.
http://pinterest.com/pin/39406565462095442/
Blues Tutorial #7: You can’t have the blues in any place that don’t get rain.
28 Apr
Blues Tutorial #7:
Blues can take place in New York but not in Hawaii or any place in Canada. Havin’ hard times in St. Paul or Tucson is just depression. Chicago, St.Louis & Kansas City still the best places to have the blues. You can’t have the blues in any place that don’t get rain.
http://pinterest.com/pin/39406565462090290/
Blues Tutorial #6: Teenagers can’t sing the blues.
27 Apr
Blues Tutorial #6:
Teenagers can’t sing the blues. They ain’t fixin’ to die yet. Adults sing the blues. In blues, “adulthood” means being old enough to get the electric chair if you shoot a man in Memphis.
http://pinterest.com/pin/39406565462060318/
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