Archive | October, 2012

Something Wanton This Way Comes

20 Oct

Ever since the runaway success of Fifty Shades of Grey, reading glasses the world over have been fogging up with heavy breathing. Publishers, having taken the pulse of this phenomenon and found it throbbing, are now trolling through their backlists, looking for something salacious to satisfy the public’s new appetite for literary erotica.

Lacking fresh product to satisfy growing demand, book marketers are now desperate to put new lipstick on old tarts. A major search portal and a men’s magazine are rumored to have joined forces, and are buying up the rights to hundreds of literary classics. After tweaking the titles, a small army of hacks will then refurbish the story lines with just enough romance and raunchy sex to make readers come back for more.

Expect to see some of these titillating titles appearing as stocking-stuffers for mommies everywhere this Xmas:

  1. A Massage in India ~ E.M. Forster
  2. A Whore’s House ~ Heinrik Ibsen
  3. Alice’s Adventures in Wonderlust ~ Lewis Carroll
  4. All the King’s Women ~ Robert Penn Warren
  5. As I Lay Coming ~ William Faulkner
  6. Briefing for a Descent into Her ~ Doris Lessing
  7. Chiquita ~ Vladimir Nabokov
  8. Dr Jekyll and Mrs Hyde ~ Robert Louis Stevenson
  9. Fagtime ~ E.L. Doctorow
  10. Girl Farm ~ George Orwell
  11. Hot Little Women ~ Louisa May Alcott
  12. I, Priapus ~ Robert Graves
  13. In Search of Lust Time ~ Marcel Proust
  14. King Leer ~ William Shakespeare
  15. Lady Oral ~ Margaret Atwood
  16. Midnight’s Chicken ~ Salman Rushdie
  17. Native Bastard ~ Richard Wright
  18. Necromancer ~ William Gibson
  19. Never Let Me Come ~ Kazuo Ishiguro
  20. Obsession ~ A.S. Byatt
  21. On the Broad ~ Jack Kerouac
  22. Play Her As She Lays ~ Joan Didion
  23. Sluthouse Five ~ Kurt Vonnegut
  24. Something Wanton This Way Comes ~ Ray Bradbury
  25. Son and Lover ~ D.H. Lawrence
  26. The Executioner’s Thong ~ Norman Mailer
  27. The French Lieutenant’s Boy ~ John Fowles
  28. The Lord Of The Cock Rings ~ J. R. R. Tolkien
  29. The Penis is A Lonely Hunter ~ Carson McCullers
  30. The Portrait of a Ladyboy ~ Henry James
  31. The Pot-Weed Factor ~ John Barth
  32. The Sex Adventures of Augie March ~ Saul Bellow
  33. The Sex Tourist’s Guide to the Galaxy ~ Douglas Adams
  34. The Way of All Flesh ~ Samuel Butler
  35. The Way We Love Now ~ Anthony Trollope
  36. Uranus is a Harsh Mistress ~ Robert Heinlein

Hide in Plain Sight: book review by Val Tobin @ Suite101

9 Oct

Take one rich twin and one poor twin, throw in a bipolar wife, shake violently, and you have the makings of another delicious crime novel by Alan Annand.

Alex Carson’s life has turned into a country song. He owes the government thousands of dollars in taxes, courtesy of his fraudulent accountant; his wife, Connie, is bipolar and his dog is dying. What he doesn’t realize is, things are going to get much worse. During a visit to Alex’s wealthy brother Dave, which Connie turns into a quest to get financial assistance, Connie causes Dave’s death after a heated argument.

Alex decides that the only way out of this mess is to take Dave’s place and allow Connie to go establish an alibi, thereby avoiding the ordeal of having to ‘fess up to the police about what had transpired. The execution of Alex’s creative solution makes for a crazy wild ride as we tag along in Alex’s first person narrative.

Inside the Mind of Alex Carson

According to Annand, who agreed to talk with Suite101 about his book, his use of the first person was designed to, among other things, “oblige the reader to suffer in sympathy with Alex, no matter what morally questionable actions he had to follow through on.” And suffer the reader does. Exquisitely.

During this charade, Alex must share a bed with his beautiful sister-in-law, a woman stolen from Alex by Dave years before. He must also maneuver his way around Dave’s various existing relationships, including one with the housekeeper, with whom Dave may or may not have been having an affair.

Following Alex on his adventures in Dave Land makes compelling enough reading, but the questions that arise about what was going on in Dave’s life at the time of his death compound the intrigue and the tension. When you also factor in the logistical issues with which Alex must contend, reading the story becomes an addiction.

Guillain-Barré Syndrome, Bipolar Disorder and How to Dispose of a Corpse

Annand, as always, has done his research to make everything in his novel authentic and credible. Dave suffered from Guillain-Barré Syndrome, something with which Annand was familiar via an extended family member who had the disease. Having Dave suffer from GBS was a unique twist that makes things more demanding for Alex playing Dave, and of course makes it more entertaining for the reader. Connie’s bipolar disorder also spices things up, but it also provides a glimpse of what it might be like to be married to someone who is bipolar.

The most intriguing questions presented by the novel, and dealt with deftly by Annand, however, relate to Dave’s body and how Alex deals with it: How can Alex store the corpse? Where will he keep it? How can he obscure the time of death? How can he create a new, believable cause of death? Can he really pull it off? Should he really pull it off? The practical considerations run neck and neck with the ethical ones.

Tension and Sleepless Nights with Hide in Plain Sight

Alan Annand has an uncanny knack for forcing the reader to read at breakneck speed to get past all the tense moments, while at the same time making him/her wish the ride would never end. The first time you read Hide in Plain Sight, you will want to savor it, but it’ll be impossible. As the tension and questions mount, you can’t help but read as fast as you can to see what happens next. It is a most delightful form of torture.

Don’t pick up this book if you’re looking for a bedtime reading cure for insomnia. But if you’re looking for suspense, tension and the queasiness that comes from participating in questionable activities, then this book is for you. This is the perfect book to take on a flight or on vacation.

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HIDE IN PLAIN SIGHT  (psychological mystery suspense) eBook $2.99, paper $9.99.  A man assumes his twin brother’s identity in order to alibi his own wife who’s accidentally killed his brother in an argument. But when he finds himself sharing a bed with his beautiful sister-in-law, he faces bigger challenges and harder choices.

www.amazon.com/Hide-in-Plain-Sight-ebook/dp/B0050K1EZA

www.smashwords.com/books/view/59291

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Val Tobin is a Feature Writer for Suite101. Formerly a software developer, she has pursued her interests in the occult, paranormal and spiritual fields through formal studies in nutrition, mediumship and parapsychology, all of which have become active professional avenues. For more information, see her website at:  http://www.serenitynowgifts.com/