Blues Tutorial #13: Blues is not a matter of color.

7 May

woods

Blues Tutorial #13:

Blues is not a matter of color. It’s a matter of bad luck. Tiger Woods cannot sing the blues. Gary Coleman could. Ugly white people also got a leg up on the blues.

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Eva Peron (b. May 7): “One cannot accomplish anything without fanaticism.”

7 May

peron

“One cannot accomplish anything without fanaticism.”

~ Eva Peron, b. 7 May 1919

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Blues Tutorial #12: You have a right to sing the blues if you just can’t be satisfied.

6 May

jagger2

Blues Tutorial #12:

You have the right to sing the blues if: (a) you’re older than dirt, (b) you’re blind, (c) you shot a man in Memphis, (d) you can’t be satisfied.

But you ain’t got the right to sing the blues if: (a) you have all your teeth, (b) you were once blind but now can see, (c) the man in Memphis lived, (d) you have a retirement plan or trust fund.

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George Clooney (b. May 6): “I’m really white trash.”

6 May

clooney

“I’m really white trash.”

~ George Clooney, b. 6 May 1961

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Blues Tutorial #11: No one will believe it’s the blues if you wear a suit.

5 May

suit_bum

Blues Tutorial #11:

No one will believe it’s the blues if you wear a suit, unless you happen to be an old ethnic person, and you slept in it.

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Tammy Wynette (b. May 5): “It’s hard giving all your love to just one man.”

5 May

Wynette1

“Sometimes it’s hard to be a woman giving all your love to just one man.”

~ Tammy Wynette, b. 5 May 1942

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Audrey Hepburn (b. May 4): “I don’t want to be alone, I want to be left alone.”

4 May

hepburn1

“I don’t want to be alone, I want to be left alone.”

~ Audrey Hepburn, b. 4 May 1929

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Blues Tutorial #10: Good places for the blues – highway, jailhouse, empty bed, and bottom of a whiskey glass.

2 May

jail_6

Blues Tutorial #10:

Good places for the blues: (a) highway, (b) jailhouse, (c) empty bed, (d) bottom of a whiskey glass. Bad places: (a) ashrams, (b) gallery openings, (c) Ivy League institutions, (d) golf courses.

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David Beckham (b. May 2): “I always wanted to be a hairdresser.”

2 May

David-Beckham

“I always wanted to be a hairdresser.”

~ David Beckham, b. 2 May 1975

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Blues Tutorial #9: You can’t have no blues in an office or shopping mall.

1 May

dumpster_4

Blues Tutorial #9:

You can’t have no blues in an office or a shopping mall. The lighting is all wrong. Go outside to the parking lot or sit by the dumpster.

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