eCard by Alan Annand, writer and astrologer
Tags: inadequacy, inadequate, shy, tequila
Blues Tutorial #20.
I don’t care how tragic your life – if you own a computer, you cannot sing the blues. You best destroy it. Fire, a spilled bottle of Mad Dog, or get out a shotgun. Maybe your big woman just done sat on it. I don’t care.
http://pinterest.com/pin/39406565462572003/
“I subscribe to the myth that an artist’s creativity comes from torment. Once that’s fixed, what do you draw on?”
~ David Byrne, b. 14 May 1952
http://pinterest.com/pin/39406565462152762/
Blues Tutorial #19.
Make your own blues name (starter kit):
(a) name of physical infirmity (Blind, Cripple, Lame, etc)
(b) first name (above) plus name of fruit (Lemon, Lime, Kiwi, etc)
(c) last name of President (Jefferson, Johnson, Fillmore, etc)
Resulting in… Blind Lemon Jefferson, Cripple Kiwi Fillmore, Horny Banana Clinton, etc.
http://pinterest.com/pin/39406565462507603/
Blues Tutorial #18.
Persons with names like Sierra, Sequoia, Auburn, and Rainbow can’t sing the blues no matter how many men they shoot in Memphis.
http://pinterest.com/pin/39406565462475196/
Blues Tutorial #17:
Some acceptable blues names for men: (a) Joe, (b) Willie, (c) Little Willie, (d) Big Willie.
http://pinterest.com/pin/39406565462436282/
Blues Tutorial #16:
Some acceptable blues names for women: (a) Sadie, (b) Big Mama, (c) Bessie, (d) Fat River Dumpling.
http://pinterest.com/pin/39406565462414082/
Blues Tutorial #15:
If it occurs in a cheap motel or a shotgun shack, it’s a blues death. Stabbed in the back by a jealous lover is another blues way to die. So is the electric chair, substance abuse, and dying lonely on a broken down cot. You can’t have a blues death if you die during a tennis match or while getting liposuction.
http://pinterest.com/pin/39406565462388233/
Blues Tutorial #14:
If you ask for water and Baby give you gasoline, it’s the blues. Other acceptable blues beverages are: (a) wine, (b) whiskey or bourbon, (c) muddy water, (d) black coffee.
The following are NOT blues beverages: (a) mixed drinks, (b) kosher wine, (c) Snapple, (d) sparkling water.
http://pinterest.com/pin/39406565462264849/
“A politician is a man who understands government. A statesman is a politician who’s been dead for 15 years.”
~ Harry S. Truman, b. 8 May 1884
http://pinterest.com/pin/39406565462125892/