Feel inadequate? Try Tequila®.

15 May

tequila_1

 eCard by Alan Annand, writer and astrologer

Blues Tutorial #20: If you own a computer, you cannot sing the blues.

14 May

computer

Blues Tutorial #20.

I don’t care how tragic your life – if you own a computer, you cannot sing the blues. You best destroy it. Fire, a spilled bottle of Mad Dog, or get out a shotgun. Maybe your big woman just done sat on it. I don’t care.

http://pinterest.com/pin/39406565462572003/

 

David Byrne (b. May 14): “An artist’s creativity comes from torment.”

14 May

byrne1

“I subscribe to the myth that an artist’s creativity comes from torment. Once that’s fixed, what do you draw on?”
~ David Byrne, b. 14 May 1952

http://pinterest.com/pin/39406565462152762/

Blues Tutorial #19: Make up your own blues name

13 May

Blind_lemon

Blues Tutorial #19.

Make your own blues name (starter kit):
(a) name of physical infirmity (Blind, Cripple, Lame, etc)
(b) first name (above) plus name of fruit (Lemon, Lime, Kiwi, etc)
(c) last name of President (Jefferson, Johnson, Fillmore, etc)
Resulting in… Blind Lemon Jefferson, Cripple Kiwi Fillmore, Horny Banana Clinton, etc.

http://pinterest.com/pin/39406565462507603/

 

Blues Tutorial #18: Girls named Sequoia can’t sing the blues.

12 May

sierra

Blues Tutorial #18.

Persons with names like Sierra, Sequoia, Auburn, and Rainbow can’t sing the blues no matter how many men they shoot in Memphis.

http://pinterest.com/pin/39406565462475196/

Blues Tutorial #17: Names for men

11 May

big_willie

Blues Tutorial #17:

Some acceptable blues names for men: (a) Joe, (b) Willie, (c) Little Willie, (d) Big Willie.

http://pinterest.com/pin/39406565462436282/

Blues Tutorial #16: Names for women

10 May

sadie

Blues Tutorial #16:

Some acceptable blues names for women: (a) Sadie, (b) Big Mama, (c) Bessie, (d) Fat River Dumpling.

http://pinterest.com/pin/39406565462414082/

 

Blues Tutorial #15: If it occurs in a cheap motel, it’s a blues death.

9 May

motel2

Blues Tutorial #15:

If it occurs in a cheap motel or a shotgun shack, it’s a blues death. Stabbed in the back by a jealous lover is another blues way to die. So is the electric chair, substance abuse, and dying lonely on a broken down cot. You can’t have a blues death if you die during a tennis match or while getting liposuction.

http://pinterest.com/pin/39406565462388233/

Blues Tutorial #14: Muddy water is a blues beverage.

8 May

booze_glass

Blues Tutorial #14:

If you ask for water and Baby give you gasoline, it’s the blues. Other acceptable blues beverages are: (a) wine, (b) whiskey or bourbon, (c) muddy water, (d) black coffee.

The following are NOT blues beverages: (a) mixed drinks, (b) kosher wine, (c) Snapple, (d) sparkling water.

http://pinterest.com/pin/39406565462264849/

Harry Truman (b. May 8): “A statesman is a politician who’s been dead for 15 years.”

8 May

truman1

“A politician is a man who understands government. A statesman is a politician who’s been dead for 15 years.”
~ Harry S. Truman, b. 8 May 1884

http://pinterest.com/pin/39406565462125892/