“Culture’s worth huge, huge risks. Without culture we’re all totalitarian beasts.”
~ Norman Mailer, b. 31 January 1923
Archive | January, 2015
The world’s most interesting astrologer: chart rectification
31 Jan
Alan Annand is an astrologer and writer of crime fiction, including his New Age Noir series featuring astrologer and palmist Axel Crowe, a criminal profiler whom one reviewer dubbed “Sherlock Holmes with a horoscope.”
Read reviews for Scorpio Rising (#1), buy it or Felonious Monk (#2) at:
Amazon, Apple, Barnes&Noble, Flipkart, Kobo & Smashwords
Justin Timberlake (b. Jan 31): “I’m completely removed from any hype that comes my way.”
31 Jan
“I’m completely removed from any hype that comes my way.”
~ Justin Timberlake, b. 31 January 1981
http://www.pinterest.com/pin/39406565463567721/
Vanessa Redgrave (b. Jan 30): “Integrity is so perishable.”
30 Jan
“Integrity is so perishable in the summer months of success.”
~ Vaness Redgrave, b. 30 January 1937
Adam Lambert (b. Jan 29): “The minute a man does it, everybody freaks out…”
29 Jan
“Female performers have been doing this for years — pushing the envelope about sexuality — and the minute a man does it, everybody freaks out.”
~ Adam Lambert, b. 29 January 1982
http://www.pinterest.com/pin/39406565463556187/
Oprah Winfrey (b. Jan 29): “Be thankful for what you have.”
29 Jan
“Be thankful for what you have; you’ll end up having more. If you concentrate on what you don’t have, you will never, ever have enough.”
~ Oprah Winfrey, b. 29 January 1954
Jackson Pollock (b. Jan 28): “The strangeness will wear off…”
28 Jan
“The strangeness will wear off and I think we will discover the deeper meanings in modern art.”
~ Jackson Pollock, b. 28 January 1912
http://www.pinterest.com/pin/39406565463551910/
Sarah McLachlan (b. Jan 28): “Love large, hurt large.”
28 Jan
“If you love large, you’ve got to hurt large. If you’ve got a lot of light, you’ve probably got an equal amount of darkness.”
~ Sarah McLachlan, b. 28 January 1968
Mercury Retrograde Winter Retreat
28 Jan
Every blue moon or so, Mercury retrograde looms as a triple seasonal menace – this year, a holiday hangover of unpaid credit card bills, polar vortex weather, and more terrorists in the news than you can shake a Bible at. Times like this, you need to get away, as deep into the soft underbelly of your wounded psyche as a hibernating bear in a boreal snow bank.
But forget about going south, because fun in the sun will only distract you from the mindfulness necessary to understand your sorry existence. To contemplate your navel fuzz in total isolation, please consider our Mercury Retrograde Winter Retreat, nestled deep in the Canadian hinterland, accessible only by a torturous train ride from Toronto.
Our igloo village hermitage is an oasis of self-imposed exile, buffered from the world by a 10-foot wall of pristine sub-Arctic snow pack. Here you can ride out the astrological affective disorder known as Mercury Retrograde Syndrome, a psychological malaise that recurs three times a year, bringing much of western society’s rational thinking to a grinding halt.
Each guest igloo is constructed in the form of a geodesic dome with tempered thermo-pane glass. Our trademarked design provides superlative shielding from high-intensity northern lights, harmful radiation of Mercury Retrograde, and frequent assaults by marauding polar bears foraging for tourists.
Not only the upper atmosphere gets excited by solar flares at high latitudes. Thanks to the ambient room temperature of 40F (4C) maintained in all guest igloos, you and your retreat companion will have little choice but to share your body heat. Many couples report having more sex during Mercury Retrograde winter retreats than they actually even wanted. You’re welcome!
For those who come to the hermitage alone, room service will provide hot water bottles filled with your choice of mulled wines, grog, hot toddies or high-proof cider. For a small extra fee, our qualified staff can set you up with an IV drip or a therapeutic enema.
Our lakeside spa offers crystal-clear water chilled to within a few degrees of hypothermia. After emerging from near-death immersion, you’ll be gratefully reborn as attendants whip circulation back into your body, using birch branches blessed by a local shaman. Brandy, cognac, schnapps and other anti-coagulants are available from the patio bar.
Since Mercury Retrograde already provides adequate food for thought, we’re not into the whole culinary thing. But our cafeteria is open 24/7, with a limited range of tasty fast food. Try our Polar Pizza (wolverine salami with seal cheese), Boreal Burgers (minced caribou with a heart-smart spread of lichens) and our perennial dessert favorite – Eskimo Pie.
Although the Mercury Retrograde Hermitage is designed to insulate guests from both the world and their fellow refugees, we offer evening leg wrestling and snuggle sessions in our communal lounge. Every sign in the zodiac (even Virgo and Scorpio) is welcome to enjoy the ambiance of our coal-fired braziers. And for those who neglected to pack adequate clothing, complimentary leg warmers, hand-woven by Inuit artisans from hypo-allergenic muskrat hides, are available in a limited range of hair densities.
Our guest igloos have no phone, TV, radio, WiFi or cellular reception to distract you from your introspective sojourn. So just lie back on your mattress of organic cedar boughs and enjoy an unobstructed view of the northern stars, the contemplation of which will remind you of your insignificance in the face of the cosmos.
Mercury Retrograde – when you just need an excuse to do absolutely nothing for three weeks.
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Alan Annand is an astrologer and writer of crime fiction, including his New Age Noir series featuring astrologer and palmist Axel Crowe, a criminal profiler whom one reviewer dubbed “Sherlock Holmes with a horoscope.”
Read reviews for Scorpio Rising (#1), buy it or Felonious Monk (#2) at: Amazon, Apple, Barnes&Noble, Flipkart, Kobo & Smashwords
Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart (b. Jan 27): “One must not make oneself cheap…”
27 Jan
“One must not make oneself cheap here – that is a cardinal point – or else one is done. Whoever is most impertinent has the best chance.”
~ Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart, b. 27 January 1756
http://www.pinterest.com/pin/39406565463542067/
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